So I called my therapist today and told him I was dumping him for someone on the internet. He was quiet for a moment.
"Sarah? Are you okay?"
Right away I was irritated because there was a hint of amusement in his voice, like he couldn't help it but he wasn't taking me seriously.
"Of course I'm ok. You don't believe me?"
He sighed. "Ok... So why are you cancelling our appointment? And what do you mean, you're getting e-shrunk?"
"I found someone on the internet to psycho-analyze me," I said.
He was baffled now. "What? I thought we were making progress. I thought you liked me."
"I do. We were. But this guy will do it for free."
"But your sessions are covered by insurance." He sounded suspiciously like he wanted to laugh. That just pissed me off.
"Look, doc, no offense, but you're really hard to get ahold of. You didn't call me back for half an hour. And I pay dearly for that insurance!"
"So who's this internet shrink?"
I knew he was just jealous. "I don't know. Some guy."
"Some guy! Is he even a real shrink?"
Me: "no, but he's really good. I just email him and he sends me the answers. He's so accurate it's uncanny!"
I can almost hear Dr A's eyes rolling. "Alright. Hey, do you want to come in this afternoon instead of tomorrow? I have a cancellation."
Two weeks ago I would have caved. Now I feel empowered, and I say, "no, Dr A. Thanks, but no thanks." And hang up.
As long as he doesn't send out a search party before our appointment tomorrow, I'm good.
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Boy, I would not trust this emailing shrink! He sounds dangerous! Stay away! Speak to your dog instead. At least your dog will always listen to you. It may lick its but while your talking, but your dog will still listen to you. Don't talk to your cat. Your cat though, will just grow bored and walk away, probably like a typical spouse.
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